Year 11 after disaster

i Believe at age 11 i was in 6th grade already... I fullfilled my promise of not talking to anyone ever again. I remember everybody afterschool i would go o my house running and i would drop my stuff and go to the graveyard. i wouldnt spend my afterrnoons in my rooftop anymore i just went directly to Michelle for the entire year. i was sad destroyed but i promised her "everything i do will be foryou, i wont forget you ever and i will do my best to be in triumph." during 6th grade i guess i was skinny because of soccer and i had muscular legs yet i didnt talk... my friends told me alot of girls liked me and gave me their notes, i just put em aside.. i knew girls would just hurt my felings even more... Dear reader (if there is any) i want you to to know that im not an average guy, i have been through alot of things unimaginable..... so im full of rights to be in any mood i want. i dont have many friends but any company would be appreciated. i never liked my childhood if u can even call it a childhood, i feel like a beaast that just scares people away and they turn out to hate me. i want you to know i am sensible in feelings and if u hurt me ever,, i wont tell you.. if i did my theory wouldnt work out. if i thought of anything when my sister was gone.. it involved me grabbing the pice of metal in my dads drawer and oulling its trigger can u figure it out? year 11 was nothing but crap really.......