Age 10 "An angel in my arms......"

One day after my 10 birthday, October 9 i remember it clearly.. i woke up on regular basis and Michelle and me went to school. During 10 oclokish into school i felt a terrible pain in my sould something warning me perhaps...throughout the day i had that sadness in me. After school i had soccer practice but i would take Michelle home first. I went home and there wasnt anyone! damnit! so Michelle told me i could go that in a few minutes she would go to her friends house "Ill be ok Aba Aba:)" "Lock the doors Mimi" i was in practice and i was scared of it again , i couldnt run one more inch i had to go back something told me, run you son of a bitch! tension starts building when im at 50 yards away from my house, it hit me... the connection between my heart and brain failed. i ran for the race of my life i had tears coming out, 50 yards turned into 40, 30,20 stop! 10, 5.... im at the front door i whisper "Michelle" my parents hadnt arrived from what i could see. I had no feelings left in me all i wanted was to find my sister. the kitchen? the living room, my parents room? she was gone.... but only one room left to check.. My room.... As i walk slowly i see a bunch of papers just lying there and some covered in red liquid. i was already about to drop to my feet... " god, why ? why? ,,.... I saw an angel lying in the floor, i felt my tonge dry in my lips as i passed through the papers.I fell to the ground beside her,, " Michelle?" Michelle?" dont play games on me!" i was frightened. i felt in in my heart, my eyes burned like a ligthing in hell i felt like crying yet nothing came out of me... Michelle at age 9 was dead in my arms... her eyes were open so i closed them for them i hugged her and i wanted to yell for help but nothing came out. I yelled " ahhhhhhhh!! what da Fuck!!" my wings of happiness were finally cut off i hugged her day and until itgrew dark i was there hugging her body for 7 hours straight cuddling with her hair putting my hand on her cheeks very gently. i was actaully waitting for a response of her.. i didnt know what to do i cried gallons of tears even though i had more to come. m y mind was dead.. " why me? why now" why her? why not me" i cant believe this!! why not me god?!!" where were my fucking parents?!!! i ask them "WHERE WERE U ?" I only got up after my parents had arrived i said nothing, my eyes burned red, i was bleeding tears, i got covered in her blood and i put some in my eyes " guide my eyes towards something good. guide my ears to happy hearings." I swear under ur name Mimi i will find that bastard that bastard will pay and will regrt every last blood drop there is on this floor !! let it be written, today is the day i have no more mercy upon the shit of the earth!!