Abrahan Hetfield has to rise again from the ashes

There i lie in a corner of my room.. sitting alone.. in profound darkness... no motivation.. no hapinness no sun shinning through my windows... no flashing in my eyelids.. i cry into tears of terror.. constantly spacing out into a diffrent world.. my world of dreams.. where i am in a stone house and my wife and my kid.. then i come to reality again.. she stabbed my heart.. my heart is ripped apart and burned so that it wont regenrate with anything.. the only thing that can cure it now.. is her.. but that wont happen most likely.. today is saturday.. i tried to put on some music... and so i did.. i tried singing.. i just couldnt sing.. i tried again.. and again.. then it came in! Fuck you!! you wanna sing!!! sing!!!! i started headbanging Harvester of sorrow" HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! i was singing again... i felt the adrenaline again.. theres no turning back.. im going to fight for whats right.. hmm i sound crazy as i write this? haha lame.. who cares.. im the only that reads,, and i still laugh when i do.. i cant sleep anymore to say the truth.. sigh* who am i fooling? only myself.. im not happy anymore..

Home life again

I dont get how im feeling right now.. the question is " does my dad treat my brother too nicely?" he is buying my brother a new car.,.. i get to see them smile for a new car,, and me im just with my foot on a wall staring at their little smirks.. its something good i guess.. new car.. hes gonna be happy with his girlfriend.. someday ill have money too.. i guess ill buy something for myself.. my birthday is coming up and i could only think of one wish.. but i guess god wont let me.. my brother had a graduation gift when he was in high school... it seems that up to right now.. my dad or mom dont really want to buy me anything.. i feel kinda lame for once but yea.. im on my own for a gift... this school year alot of freshman girls have come in.. most of them think that a guitar player is very cute.. specially when u have worked out ur body and made it like mine :) i feel old but i guess it catches peoples attention for once.. but god dont let me sin.. i dont wanna ever leave ur side.. girls and guys are so full of bad thoughts.. i must avoid.. my morality is on the floor right now.. i cant believe im freaking fighting to stay alive when shes gone!! why are u fighting damn it!!? i guess ill have to stay in order to know...the world doesnt need a me right now.. they just need someone like my brothers.. parties... cars.. girls.. alcohol.. thats not me...

Dark poem

Wake up every morning with a shining sun
seeing your face is my little shine
Finding you sad will be my moments of drag
but to help you is a thing that i can
under the rain i find myself sitting there alone with each raindrop hitting me on the nose
I dont care for my clothes are all wet but i care when ur locked in my arms
for i hold you under the rain
there are hard times in our lives but our love can defy the hard times
A rooftop of stars are over us
oh i cant wait what the night awaits for us
you are in my arms with ur head on my chest
hearing my heart say i love you with all my best
Do you still think i can rest?
without you being with me, or should i be put to rest?.....seeing you in another man's arms will always be my reason of harm
lucky man he is to be able to hold your hands
for not everyone can hold an angel's hand
the reason u say U love him is my reason to be forgotten...