Home life again

I dont get how im feeling right now.. the question is " does my dad treat my brother too nicely?" he is buying my brother a new car.,.. i get to see them smile for a new car,, and me im just with my foot on a wall staring at their little smirks.. its something good i guess.. new car.. hes gonna be happy with his girlfriend.. someday ill have money too.. i guess ill buy something for myself.. my birthday is coming up and i could only think of one wish.. but i guess god wont let me.. my brother had a graduation gift when he was in high school... it seems that up to right now.. my dad or mom dont really want to buy me anything.. i feel kinda lame for once but yea.. im on my own for a gift... this school year alot of freshman girls have come in.. most of them think that a guitar player is very cute.. specially when u have worked out ur body and made it like mine :) i feel old but i guess it catches peoples attention for once.. but god dont let me sin.. i dont wanna ever leave ur side.. girls and guys are so full of bad thoughts.. i must avoid.. my morality is on the floor right now.. i cant believe im freaking fighting to stay alive when shes gone!! why are u fighting damn it!!? i guess ill have to stay in order to know...the world doesnt need a me right now.. they just need someone like my brothers.. parties... cars.. girls.. alcohol.. thats not me...