depression

I dont know how to feel. i havent quite cured myself. i dont know the right words for it. what happened last summer. ugh... everyone at skool hates me. most of my teachers say im a great performer, most of my performances, im thinking of the past i hardly realize i was performing. Im sorry for all those people that think im a show off. i guess i should put that mask back on.. haha.. scary.. maybe so that people dont have to look at the broken horizons in my eyes. what i did last summer to her, is my regret, god forgive me for that. i hope she has forgiven me. what i did to her was ugh!! kill me :/ from what i could see last time i talked to her, things were bad, because of what i did. if i could talk to her for one more minute i would.. i would face her parents. i would let them be the judge of my life. i would put what was left of my heart in my hand and place it on their judgement. if i died i wouldnt care, as long as she was happy. i really wanna talk to both her parents and tell them straight to stop hurting her :/ i really loved her. im sorry. i wish i was back in june and like not tell her i was going to camp. i would face my dad and run away. where? i dont know but i would try to reach her somehow. but of course. she hates me now. theres no way shell ever talk to me again. i wish she did so bad :/ I love her till the day i die, because thats what i swore to her those words. .